Tuesday, December 1, 2009

What is man but a bowl of pain?

So much has happened since I last updated! Ah me! I'm afraid that I'm much to distraught and heartbroken to write about what happened at the baseball and thereafter but I will tell you that my life has become a pit of endless misery and woe.
It's too difficult for me to tell you what happened any other way besides poetry so here I go:


If I was in a Snow-globe

If I were in a snow globe I wouldn't have to break Bella's heart.
She'd have never met me if in a snow globe I lived!

But alas I live in the real world, and so I did depart
from Bella because my brother almost ate her,
and myself I can't forgive.

I just wish I lived in a snow globe w/ a hot snow chick
to ease my pain. Or just a chick flick
would do. I would play in the snow

If a snow globe was where I lived.


Bella, you shot across my sky like a meteor and now that you are gone my life is a dark abyss.

Well my devoted readers, I must go and brood some more, until next time,

Edward A. M. Cullen


Saturday, August 8, 2009

Baseball

ALAS! Tis been so long. I've been so preoccupied with my lovely love and all the new found hope I've found in my soul that I haven't written in any timely fashion. I ask most sincerely for your forgiveness. Anyway, today in a few hours we're going to play baseball and I am going to take Bella with us.

BOOM CRASH

Ah Thunder. I cannot wait. Vampire baseball is so beautiful. Like me. Minus the scintillating arms. And bronzey hair. and liquid topaz eyes.


Later
AH! no time to write! You would not believe what has happened! Oh! I am such a monster. Such a dreadfull monstrous beast! How could I pull Bella into this? How could I have been so selfish? How could I have put her in this danger? *dry sob* Why? Why did this have to happen?! Oh! It was all so beautiful. SO beautiful. My life was wonderful. I was stalking my brand of heroine and she was totally in love with me. And now it is all ruined.

Saturday, June 20, 2009

So, Good news.

I had my first date with Bella today!
It was great, we talked about how I was a monster and also a masochistic lion and she was a stupid lamb. I can already tell she's my one true love. Then we laid in this field of flowers together and touched eachother's faces. It was real real romantic.
I went home with her and watched her eat dinner then I stayed and waited for her to fall asleep. Then I got on to her computer ( It has the slowest internet connection I have ever seen.) and wrote this blog! She talks in her sleep, it's very entertaining.
Oh. She's waking up!

Talk to you later,
Edward C.

Friday, June 12, 2009

Good Times

Oh Die-ary! er, Diary.
Today I actually have something happy to report! Emmett and Jasper were feeling worried about me. At first it was very annoying. Jasper kept walking around my volvo saying that it wasn't right for me to love Bella because she wasn't one of us. I was like "DUDE! I ALREADY KNOW THAT OK!!!" but instead I kept my cool and just sat there looking sullen and brooding like. But that's not the good news. The good news is precisely thus. After that Emmett and Jasper took me to a movie. At first I was not excited. Because normally movies are lame. Seriously. They mangle human emotions and give all vampires dark oily hair (as opposed to bronze flowing copper hair) and transylvanian accents (as opposed to a voice like velvet). So normally movies bug me. But we watched Star Trek. And the way Spock was so emotionless and monotone gave me even newer and greater aspirations for my way of speech! My life has changed. Oh the beauty just continues on and on.
Happier than Normal
E. Cullen

Beware. These happy moods never last long. Hate to kill the joy.

Tuesday, June 9, 2009

Confession

Dear World,

I have something of utmost urgency to tell you all.

I, Edward Anthony Masen Cullen am in love with one Isabella Marie Swan.
I know, I know, I didn't see it coming either. But boy do I feel a lot better now that it's off my chest. I've been keeping it a secret for months now, I fooled all of you into thinking that I hated her, but guess what! I don't, quite the opposite actually. Anyways that's really all I had to say, it was driving me crazy keeping it a secret. ( Yes, Alice we all know that you were right now shut up.)

My skin may be cold but my heart is on fire,

Edward A. M. Cullen

Wednesday, June 3, 2009

Theories

Sigh. I know it is seriously time to back off from Bella. Last night while I was watching her sleep she said my name. How obsessive! She could be some sort of creeper, and I just don't know how I feel about that. Then again, she needs me! The other day I was following her down a dark alleyway and she almost got into some trouble with some....punks. Fools! So I saved her and then I was driving fast (like always. Seriously. I don't even have to watch the road.) and she started speculating about me being some sort of super hero. She just doesn't get it. Sigh. My life is a sad bowl of soup.

Sunday, May 24, 2009

Dangerous Danger

I am growing to close to one Isabella Swan. And I shouldn't be! I need to stop now while I still can. But alas, it's so hard. I'm afraid I've been quite rude to her and she was under the impression I regretted saving her life! How absurd. Anyways, Bella is a danger magnet so I've been following her around for the past couple days (I've been unable to go to school as it is sunny :( ..) I simply couldn't bear it if something happened to her! I would feel so incredibly guilty knowing I could've stopped it some how.
Anyways I 've got to go watch Bella sleep.

More later,
Edward C.

Wednesday, May 13, 2009

Grrr

Sorry, it's been forever but I just have had a lot to handle lately. You would not even believe how much I feel stupid for stopping that van. Not that I regret it... I don't regret saving her life. What is wrong with me? I am cold and unfeeling! This is not right! She's not one of us! I am a vampire and I have superhuman skills! I should be immune to human emotion! I gotta go eat.

Thursday, May 7, 2009

Crap, Crap, Crappity Crap.

So, today when I got to school I was brooding by my precious Volvo, (as per usual) and watching as Bella Swan gets out of her car and stands there staring at her tires for some odd reason. When all of the sudden Tyler Crowley's Van comes speeding towards (you guessed it) Bella. She, being too shocked or frightened to move or something, just stands there staring at the incoming van in horror.
And I then suddenly found my self running (way to fast for the humans to see don't worry) over to Bella and stopping the car, and pushing her out of the way. She being the weird person that she is would not be swayed when I tried to convince her that I was standing next to her the entire time. Apparently she isn't quite as dumb as the other students at this school.
Now I know what you all are thinking, 'How could you do this Edward Cullen? That was a very stupid thing to do you moronic vampire you! ' But you know what? You guys can just shut up! Because I have been lectured enough already by Rosalie and the other people in my family. (Except for maybe Alice, who for some reason remains oddly cheerful at this whole situation)So just leave me alone! It wasn't my fault! I remain convinced (until other evidence presents its self) that my body and mind were suddenly taken over by another vampire or alien.
Well I've got to go listen to some linking park and dry sob because I can't cut my wrists or cry real tears.

Broodingly yours,

Edward Cullen.


Danger level has been upped to X-tremely too dangerous for love and a soul.

School Again

Dang it that girl is too friendly. I was pleased with my non-eating-Isabella-Marie-Swan skills but nooo, she has to go and make it all difficult. Now do relax, I didn't eat her. But I was tempted. So tempted. So very very tempted. She wants to be my friend. Does she not understand that while I may be pretty much the most attractive guy in the universe I am also a dangerous monster! What is wrong with her?
On the attractive note though...some kind people bought a picture of me today for a hefty sum of money (which I will not disclose for that would just be too vain), in order to make an action figure of me. I know, I know. I'm hot
But I must conclude for the moment for Alice has been eager to play chess with me. Jasper's in one of his moods again and Alice needs to be distracted. Sigh.
E. Cullen

Wednesday, May 6, 2009

My apologies.

I am very, very sorry about last post. Some idiot (Jasper) decided it would be funny to lock me in a closet and then give Emmett my laptop. Sometimes I hate living with these imbeciles. I mean seriously we all know I am the smartest one here.
Anyways good news!
Today I went to biology and talked to Bella! I did not even try to eat her this time!!
I know! I know, how amazing right?

More later,

E. C.

Danger status: Still way too dangerous.

Monday, May 4, 2009

I make myself laugh

la la la la. I am Edward Cullen. I think my brother Emmett is the bomb.com. He's so freaking buff and good looking and hunts like a bear. I am an emo child who likes to go eat mooses in Alaska. Heck yes. MOOSES. Bwaha. Or Moosen. Moosen in the woodsen. I am so emotional and can not control my need to eat my lab partner, even though that isn't awkward in the slightest. Heehee. OH dang!

Emmett really isn't funny. And he'd better learn to stop stealing my lap top.
Feeling murderous,
Edward Cullen

Sunday, May 3, 2009

Back

Well, after much convincing and crying (Alice and Esme, not me) I have returned from Alaska. I am dreading going back to school though. So, as a precaution I will be going hunting all night tonight.

Be strong Eddie boy, be strong!
SHUT UP EMMETT.

Sorry, he stole my laptop for a moment. I've gotta go.

Urge to kill rising,
Edward Cullen.

Saturday, May 2, 2009

Finally Arrived

Alaska is cold. But not as cold as I am. I'm as cold as ice. My heart is probably ice. That's how frozen it is. But alas, at least I have a heart, unlike a soul. But I digress. I saw a herd of moose awhile ago and would like to partake of some.

Now I have partaken of my moose. I really must say that while they're fine, they aren't near so delicious as mountain lions (or pumas, or cougars in case you didn't know. For you see, many organisms have several common names which is why people (mere mortals) can get confused. That is why scientific names are used. yeah.) Well I am feeling prompted to go speak to someone now I shall write again when I have the time.
Still moody,
"Dead"ward Cullen

Friday, May 1, 2009

Greetings from Alaska...

I, being the monster that I am, almost lost control with that Bella girl and have decided to hide out in Alaska for awhile as to not endanger the poor human further, much to my family's dismay (I'm so glad I won't be there to witness the look on Esme's face when she finds out I am missing.) So, for now I shall entertain myself with moodily driving my "father" carlisle's car and hunting...alot.

Still dangerous,
Edward Cullen

Thursday, April 30, 2009

Hello again journal darlingest. I guess I should explain myself from before. Today at school my new lab partner in biology smelled so good. I almost killed her, right there. I almost wish I didn't have such perfect and amazing self-control. Sorry, but I am just not in the mood for this right now.

Growl.

DX

Have you ever wanted to drain the blood from your lab partner's body because her blood smelled so good?
No, It's just me then?

Wonderful.

This is a true story.



This happened to me one time. Who won? I'll never tell!